After 9 years of home school, my oldest daughter started as a freshman at the local public school two weeks ago. I have to say that I miss her terribly. I still have one more at home for school, but I've never been the kind of mom who can't wait to ship the kids off to school in the fall or to camp in the summer. I've enjoyed every one of my children, from the adult boys to my youngest at 11.
Oh, I know she's happy and enjoying herself thoroughly. I know that it was high time to get her out from under my protective wings. I know she'll bloom in the school environment. I know she already has loads of friends and will make more as time goes on. I know, I know, I know,...but the house seems oddly empty without her.
I felt the same way when the boys went to school, but I still had two little ones to keep me busy. It's just different this time. Perhaps it's my age and perhaps it's the anticipation of an empty nest in the not too distant future. Whatever it is, it's hard to have her gone from 7:00 am until 4:30 pm and not be part of what she's doing.
So, wake up mom! I tell myself. She needs to be away from you. She needs to figure some things out on her own. Ssssiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh..... OK. I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. I'll live and I'll get over it eventually.
The youngest has just started school here at home on Tuesday, so we're off and running with that. She's a lovely girl and, being the youngest, has waited all this time to get her mom alone and all to herself. I hope she's not disappointed with what she gets. She's quite the social butterfly, but not very good at thinking for herself in a crowd. She'd be carried along by the popular opinion and the group consensus on what's appropriate behavior and what is not. She would be forever in trouble and it's not worth it to me to lose her at such a young age.
Well, I'm feeling better just for writing this down. I have plenty to keep me busy here until the youngest is old enough for high school. I'd better get focused and get going. I have three concentrated years in which to help fashion a girl into a young woman.
3 comments:
Hmmm. I thought something was up. You've been too quiet. Bethy will be great in school, and yup, you've got 3 years of high school to help her be the best she can be. But you know, graduating from high school doesn't mean that she'll fly the coop the next day. Kids keep on coming back home, you know? Just look at me - 50 (oh God!) years old and I still keep coming back home.
It doesn't get any easier. I live in the Caribbean, thousands of miles away from my grown up daughters, my 30year old has just gone on a trip to Europe for a year, I can't picture where she is and I feel totally abandoned. And yet we have a little saying, that where ever we are, she is safe in my pocket, as I am in hers.
Thanks you guys. I'm glad she's not on a trip to Europe, thousands of miles away or just generally flying the coop just yet. I know she'll keep coming home, but I hate it that the time is going away so fast! I like the saying that you have Zooms. I'm going to remember that.
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